Statement of intent feedback

Eric

Mark: 4

Grade: D

Comments on Statement of Intent:

·         There are some interesting ideas here and you’ve clearly thought about aspects of the show. However, as a statement of intent it needs some organisation and quite a lot more detail to reach the top levels.

·         For a start, no title or introductory elements. Also, your narrative isn’t clear. How does it fit the crime genre?

·         Use bullet points, subheadings or similar to organise your ideas into sections. This is just a massive lump of text!

·         You have mentioned some aspects of media language (e.g. mise-en-scene) but I want to see much more. Planned camera shots, sound, editing. You need to be specific. Choose shots with real significance/connotations that tell the audience a lot about your narrative/character/setting.

·         Audience – is 16-30 a family audience?

·         You need more theory in the statement – or perhaps just develop the theory you’ve got. For example, I don’t understand your application of Baudrillard.

·         Representation and stereotypes a major missing factor. This needs a specific section, some theory and real detail.

·         Culture magazine planning is completely missing – this is half the coursework brief!

·         You need to address digital convergence too – it’s in the mark scheme.

Next steps:

·         Copy and paste this feedback to your Media 2 coursework blog with the title ‘Statement of Intent feedback and learner response’.

·         As your learner response, pick out the three improvements/changes you need to make to your Statement of Intent.

·         Re-draft your statement of intent using Microsoft Word.

What I will do:

• Add in information about the magazine
• Change the target audience to 12+
• Add in more theory into the statement of intent

Coursework: Script

Inside a cafe. Two friends (MIA and Chloe) sit at a table. Their conversation is then interrupted by an anonymous man (LUCIFER).

LUCIFER

Hey, you guys wanna see a magic trick?

MIA

What?

LUCIFER

Like a card trick.

MIA

Uhh… sure i guess.

LUCIFER takes out a deck of cards.

LUCIFER

Okay, i’m going to rifle through the deck just like this [riffles through the deck as demonstration] and I need one of you to say stop whenever you want.

[LUCIFER rifles through the deck one more time]

CHLOE

Stop.

{LUCIFER takes the first card from the bottom half and lifts it up to reveal the chosen card]

LUCIFER

Remember this card. Got it?

MIA

Yeah.

LUCIFER

Okay so now i'm gonna give it a few cuts. [give the cards a few fake cuts and card control the chosen card to the top]

[LUCIFER places the deck on the table then clicks on top of it]

LUCIFER

[points at CHLOE] Do you remember the card?

CHLOE

Yeah, the ‘chosen card’.

LUCIFER

Lift over the first card.

[CHLOE lifts up the top card and is now shocked that it is the chosen card.]

MIA

WOAHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!

CHLOE

Oh my god

MIA

I--  Wh-- Ho--- wow.

____________________________________________________________________

An empty alleyway. LUCIFER is walking down when he sudden;y stops and turns back.

LUCIFER

You can come out, I know you’re there.

VALERIE peeks out into the alleyway

LUCIFER

I saw you a few times. Once at the park, once by the river. Who are you kid?

VALERIE

No one special.

LUCIFER

Then why are you following me?

VALERIE

No reason. Are you always alone?

LUCIFER

What do you mean?

VALERIE

Like, don’t you have anyone? Family? Friends?

LUCIFER

Not anymore I don’t.

VALERIE

Right.

____________________________________________________________________

In an empty room which seems to be some sort of meeting room. VALERIE follows LUCIFER in.

VALERIE

Are we even allowed in here?

LUCIFER

Nope, that’s why we’re leaving soon.

____________________________________________________________________

Coursework: Shot List

Dodgy alleyway:

Shot No.	Shot description	Filmed?
	Bertram Control
1	Eric - Mid shot no face of the twirl	Yes
2	Eric - Slow motion close up of swing	Yes
3	Eric - Close up of the change in card	Yes
4	Eric - Mid shot no face of second twirl	Yes
	Flash paper
5	Eric - flash paper set alight and produce the joker
6	Aman - flash paper alight and produce the Ace of spades
	Corner of alleyway
7	Aman - over the shoulder shot of Aman following Eric and then Eric turns around
8	Eric - Over the shoulder shot showing Aman dodging behind the corner
9	Eric and Aman - Long shot to show both characters facing each other (Eric says his line)
	Side of the dodgy alleyway
10	Eric - Mid shot no face of a card spring	Yes
11	Eric - Close up of left hand when doing the spring (slow mo)	Yes
12	Eric - Mid shot no face flash paper burn and thrown towards the camera
13	Eric - Side mid shot of the werm	Yes
14	Eric - Side close up of the wem	Yes
15	Eric - Mid shot of a dribble	Yes
	At the slope area
16	Eric - Crane shot of the spring
17	Eric - Walking up the slope
18	Aman - walking up the slope

Coffee shop:

Shot No.	Shot description	Filmed?
	Shop layout
1	Establish pan of the coffee shop
2	Daisy and Tamzin - Longshot of the two friends
3	Eric - Over the shoulder tracking shot of walking towards them (can see the pair)
4	Aman - Mid shot of Aman looking towards the trio
	At the table
5	Eric - Over the shoulder shot of Eric speaking his first line
6	Eric - Close up shot of Lucifer rifling through deck
7	Tamzin or Daisy - Over the shoulder shot of the card reveal (cards covering Eric’s face)
8	All three - Mid shot of the next few lines
9	Eric - Close up shot of Eric clicking on top of the deck
10	Daisy and Tamzin - Over the shoulder of Eric's hand as he talks and reveals the selected card to suddenly be on top.
11	Daisy and Tamzin - Mid shot to show their reactions
12	Eric - Close up of Eric V grip on One of their phones
13	Eric - Tracking shot of Eric’s hand pocketing the phone
14	Eric - Crane shot of Eric placing everything he had just stolen on the table.
	Eric alone at the table
15	Eric - Close up of the duck change
	Different trick (Bertram Control)
16	Aman - close up of a faro shuffle
17	Aman - Over the shoulder shot to see mid shot of Aman twirling the double lifted cards
18	Aman - Close up of the swing in
19	Aman - Close up of the actual card change
20	Aman - Close up of second twirl
21	Aman - Close up of the card being flicked back into the deck

Lift:

Shot No.	Shot description	Filmed?
	Around westfield John Lewis lift
1	Eric - Tracking shot of walking towards the lift from the exit
2	Eric - Close up of Eric pressing the elevator button
3	Eric - Long shot of elevator door closing
4	Aman - Long shot of elevator door opening
5	Aman - Tracking shot of walking out of the lift and to the exit

Bus:

Shot No.	Shot description	Filmed?
	On the bus next to the window
1	Aman - mid shot from the side of Aman looking out of the window
2	Aman - mid shot from the front of Aman looking out of the window
3	Aman - mid shot from the front of Aman putting earphones on while looking outside

Park:

Shot No.	Shot description	Filmed?
	By the trees next to the park
1	Aman - tracking shot of Aman walking (just showing her feet)
2	Aman - long shot and over the shoulder shot between Amans shoulder and a tree

House:

Shot No.	Shot description	Filmed?
	In front of a wall
1	Eric - Mid shot no face of a spring	Yes
	At the computer
2	Keyboard - The lighting up of the key JUST ME	Yes